Are you tired of moon-men gatecrashing your cocktail parties?
(Of course, we all are. The blackguards!)
Well, help is here, with Dr. Grordbort's Infallible Aether Oscillators. These fantastic "ray-guns", technology stolen from the distant 21st century, will ensure your guests' comfort and security while you repel those invaders back to the cheese-fueled hellscape that they stem from. Unlike those cheap imitations advocated by charlatans and ruffians, the Doctor's Ray-Guns are guaranteed not to explode, implode, or tear irreparable holes into the fiery Aether.
And what more could you ask for, my good sirs?
(Ed: Well, I have to cover my steam bills SOMEHOW. How else to get to my Venusian ranch holdings?)