Roger Ailes ferrets out hate crimes:

Conservatives have discovered hate crimes.

They've also discovered that they are the victims of those crimes.

Pat Buchanan declares Trent Lott "the victim of a hate crime."

Paul Craig Roberts declares Confederate soldiers and their descendants the victims of "a hate crime." Because, you know, the Confederacy wasn't about persecuting and torturing blacks, and "free blacks had fewer rights than slaves in the South."

Pat and Paul want so badly to be persecuted you can't help but hope their wishes come true.

Somebody please call somebody at the Daily Show: this is far beyond the (still impressive) powers of internet satirists. If there was ever a subject worth a a "whuuuuuuh?" this is it.