Friday, August 10, 2007

"Do you have any portable primates to declare?"

From Majikthise:

A man was questioned at New York's LaGuardia Airport after a marmoset crept out from under his hat.

When passengers noticed the fist-sized primate on the flight, they asked the man "if he knew he had a monkey on him", Ms Russell said. [BBC]

No one knows how the guy managed to fly out of Ft. Lauderdale with a marmoset in his cap. My guess is that the TSA screeners were too busy confiscating contact lens solution to notice that a non-human primate.
er, not to notice that a non-human primate did what? Inquiring minds.

Anyway, snarkless response: HAH! Clearly now, thanks to the fifth columnists at the BBC, we know what Al Qaeda will be using for their next operation: MARMOSETS. That's right, attack monkeys. Tiny, vicious attack monkeys. And they'll be able to get into the cockpit, too, because what member of the crew can possibly resist an adorable little primate? They'll take it up to the cockpit to show the captain, and that's when the horror starts.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why the U.S. is underwriting deforestation: It's a matter of national security. America cannot be safe until we are the only primates left. God only knows what sort of horrible unGodly things a chimp would get up to if he/she had the chance.

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