Tuesday, June 27, 2006


Go read the Poorman's take on, what is, bar none, the most dangerous phenomenon the universe has ever known.

: What is “blogofascism”?

A: Blogofascism is a violent online political philosophy and movement. It is characterized by:

-A cult of personality built around dangerously charismatic 2002 US Spelling Bee quaterfinalist and apple-cheek’ed nerd despot Markos “Kos” Moulitsas;

-A reactionary rejection of all standards of human decency and/or invitations to subscribe to The New Republic;

-Many other terrible qualities, TBD.

Q: Is blogofascism real?

A: Realer than anything you could possibly imagine.

Q: Is there any evidence for this?

A: The evidence is right there on your home computer. Open up Miscrosoft Word, and type “blogofascism”. Note that “blogofascism” - the most dangerous political movement in America, bar none - is not even in the Word dictionary! An oversight? Recall now that Bill Gates announced his intention to step down as head of Microsoft - the world’s most powerful computer company - just as blogofascism - the world’s most dangerous computer cult - has come into its own. Is Gates planning on turning Miscrosoft over to “Khairman Kos”, as part of a dastardly scheme to bundle “Halloween III”-style exploding novelty masks with every install of the long-anticipated “Longhorn” operating system? Connect the dots, people! We went through the looking glass a long time ago. We went through the looking glass, walked around the looking glass world for a while, and then went through a couple of looking glass looking glasses we found in there, and we’ve all been flipped inside out and upside down so many times we don’t know if we can believe anything anymore. What does it all mean? Fucked if we know, but if a chronically tardy bunny in a gold-button’ed waistcoat starts waving weird pills at you, for God’s sake, just say no!

Also, we are in the process of forging some really incriminating emails.

Q: How can I protect myself and my family from blogofascism?

A: Make sure your subscriptions to the New Republic are up-to-date, and make sure that you have at least one subscription for each member of your family, and for each room in your house. Give subscriptions to The New Republic as presents on Christmas, Presidents’ Day, birthdays, and un-birthdays. Make sure all your neighbors also subscribe to The New Republic; if not, sign them up for a free trial subscription and then make sure that the issue that comes with the “please cancel my free trial subscription” card mysteriously never reaches them. We’re not saying you should commit mail fraud, exactly - merely that you should do whatever is necessary to protect your family. Unless your local post office has been infiltrated by blogofascists, they should understand.
Learn. Be vigilant. Survive.

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